Practice noticing your child's thoughts, wishes, and feelings and reflecting them back. For example, "You're so excited to go see Grandma today" or "It's really frustrating when those don't work the way you want them to." Making reflective responses communicates to your child that you care to understand their world. It's also a great tool for modeling how to identify and express emotions appropriately.
Instead of using "if/then" statements with your children, try using "when/then." Example: "If you make your bed we can go to the park" versus "When you've made your bed we can go to the park." The former implies to your child that making the bed is optional and sounds kind of bribey. The latter implies that once they've made their bed they will have earned a fun privilege. Questions or Thoughts? Let me know!