A simple change of one word can make a world of difference!
Instead of using "if/then" statements with your children, try using "when/then."
Example: "If you make your bed we can go to the park" versus "When you've made your bed we can go to the park." The former implies to your child that making the bed is optional and sounds kind of bribey. The latter implies that once they've made their bed they will have earned a fun privilege.
Questions or Thoughts? Let me know!